Pizza, Utter Terror, and Scaring Freshmen
Random facts in my life:
I think I must have set some sort of record for most dinners and other meals consisting of pizza in one week. This was the result of a lot of leftover pizza from the Patriots party I hosted last week. I then ate pizza for two lunches during the week, as well as dinner Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday evening! And I still enjoyed the last piece! Gotta love Pizza Hut pizza! And the freedom to be able to do such a thing without being scolded about how unhealthy it is (Mom, if you read this please hold off on the scolding)!
On to another fact. I wish I could say I am over getting frightened. I am not. I experienced utter terror last evening. It was AWFUL!!! What made me so frightened? Auditioning for Beauty and the Beast. Sounds crazy, right? How could I, after having performed in front of tens of thousands (I was just trying to think about whether this is an exaggeration; but I don't think it is. A good estimate of total audience members of various shows I have performed in over the years would number in the tens of thousands) of people, get so scared about auditioning? I don't know. Even after practicing my monologue umpteen times, and singing my song through oh so many times, I still faced incredible fear, nervousness, anxiety, etc., as I waited to perform in front of a panel of people, most of whom I did not know. I was panicking so much I had a hard time remembering my monologue just minutes before I was on to perform it. That's a bad sign, especially after having rehearsed it for the already mentioned umpteen times. This panic may have been compounded by the fact that I had to wait maybe an hour and a three quarters after arriving before I was called to go before the directors. Such a wait isn't very good for a case of already-somewhat-jittery nerves. Then, as I was in the audition room with four other would-be actors, my heart was literally racing as I sat there. I had to consciously make myself breathe. Still my heart raced. It didn't help any that I was supposed to cut most of the song I had been practicing. Though I knew this in advance, it was still a little bit of a challenge, especially since I hadn't practiced it with a live piano that way. So the intro the accompanist gave me (and what I had asked for) caught me totally off guard, and I missed the entrance. Gulp. Start over. Much better this time, though the tempo was way slower than I had rehearsed, and it was a bit annoying to try and keep with it. I know in theory that I could have sped up and the accompanist should have followed, but thinking about it afterward I'm not sure he would have been able to keep up, which could have been even more disastrous, so it's probably as well that I didn't try to control it.
After the song came the monologue. It's probably a good thing I was cut off after a bit, because I probably would have forgotten the rest of it, amidst the ongoing grip of terror I was in. Of course, if I had forgotten it I probably would have jumped around a bit and still been able to cobble something together, probably well-enough that it wouldn't have been too obvious that I had messed up. Still, it was a bit of a relief to be done that. (Note to acting neophytes: being cut off is not a bad sign. When there are many people auditioning, as there were last night, directors often cut you off after getting enough of a sense of your ability, whatever it may be.)
And then the dancing routine, which had just been taught us a while before. I chose the easier routine, which was actually quite basic, and about all I can manage. It wasn't as bad as I thought it might be.
Now there's the waiting period, to see if I'll get called back, be cast, or be left home to shrivel up in my hole and pretend I never went through such a horrific experience, and try to forget it. I think I'll be quite happy with the last option, except for the questions that would linger in my head about whether rejection was based on mistakes I made in the audition, or simply lacking the talent/connections to land the role. I decided not to accept just any role, but only a couple of specific ones, which are rather juicy. I can't justify to myself putting in the time and energy that a show requires, amidst my rather busy teaching schedule, unless it's a once in a lifetime kind of role that I would be foolish to turn down. So I continue to wait, curious to know whether I am way out of my league, whether I am close and might be given another shot, or whether the stars are properly aligned this time and my height, build, and less-than-beautiful baritone will all work together to land the kind of role I would not get if they were looking for a tenor of average height and incredible dancing ability!
And now, concerning freshmen. I will get a batch of them tomorrow. To teach even. Tomorrow starts the second semester, and I will be teaching one section of freshmen, whom for the most part I don't know from Adam. It will be my chance to once again lay on the fear and trembling, work hard or you'll be toast, get to class on time or sit in detention, be good in class "or else" routine—while throwing in a bit of humor here and there along the way. It should be fun!
I think I must have set some sort of record for most dinners and other meals consisting of pizza in one week. This was the result of a lot of leftover pizza from the Patriots party I hosted last week. I then ate pizza for two lunches during the week, as well as dinner Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday evening! And I still enjoyed the last piece! Gotta love Pizza Hut pizza! And the freedom to be able to do such a thing without being scolded about how unhealthy it is (Mom, if you read this please hold off on the scolding)!
On to another fact. I wish I could say I am over getting frightened. I am not. I experienced utter terror last evening. It was AWFUL!!! What made me so frightened? Auditioning for Beauty and the Beast. Sounds crazy, right? How could I, after having performed in front of tens of thousands (I was just trying to think about whether this is an exaggeration; but I don't think it is. A good estimate of total audience members of various shows I have performed in over the years would number in the tens of thousands) of people, get so scared about auditioning? I don't know. Even after practicing my monologue umpteen times, and singing my song through oh so many times, I still faced incredible fear, nervousness, anxiety, etc., as I waited to perform in front of a panel of people, most of whom I did not know. I was panicking so much I had a hard time remembering my monologue just minutes before I was on to perform it. That's a bad sign, especially after having rehearsed it for the already mentioned umpteen times. This panic may have been compounded by the fact that I had to wait maybe an hour and a three quarters after arriving before I was called to go before the directors. Such a wait isn't very good for a case of already-somewhat-jittery nerves. Then, as I was in the audition room with four other would-be actors, my heart was literally racing as I sat there. I had to consciously make myself breathe. Still my heart raced. It didn't help any that I was supposed to cut most of the song I had been practicing. Though I knew this in advance, it was still a little bit of a challenge, especially since I hadn't practiced it with a live piano that way. So the intro the accompanist gave me (and what I had asked for) caught me totally off guard, and I missed the entrance. Gulp. Start over. Much better this time, though the tempo was way slower than I had rehearsed, and it was a bit annoying to try and keep with it. I know in theory that I could have sped up and the accompanist should have followed, but thinking about it afterward I'm not sure he would have been able to keep up, which could have been even more disastrous, so it's probably as well that I didn't try to control it.
After the song came the monologue. It's probably a good thing I was cut off after a bit, because I probably would have forgotten the rest of it, amidst the ongoing grip of terror I was in. Of course, if I had forgotten it I probably would have jumped around a bit and still been able to cobble something together, probably well-enough that it wouldn't have been too obvious that I had messed up. Still, it was a bit of a relief to be done that. (Note to acting neophytes: being cut off is not a bad sign. When there are many people auditioning, as there were last night, directors often cut you off after getting enough of a sense of your ability, whatever it may be.)
And then the dancing routine, which had just been taught us a while before. I chose the easier routine, which was actually quite basic, and about all I can manage. It wasn't as bad as I thought it might be.
Now there's the waiting period, to see if I'll get called back, be cast, or be left home to shrivel up in my hole and pretend I never went through such a horrific experience, and try to forget it. I think I'll be quite happy with the last option, except for the questions that would linger in my head about whether rejection was based on mistakes I made in the audition, or simply lacking the talent/connections to land the role. I decided not to accept just any role, but only a couple of specific ones, which are rather juicy. I can't justify to myself putting in the time and energy that a show requires, amidst my rather busy teaching schedule, unless it's a once in a lifetime kind of role that I would be foolish to turn down. So I continue to wait, curious to know whether I am way out of my league, whether I am close and might be given another shot, or whether the stars are properly aligned this time and my height, build, and less-than-beautiful baritone will all work together to land the kind of role I would not get if they were looking for a tenor of average height and incredible dancing ability!
And now, concerning freshmen. I will get a batch of them tomorrow. To teach even. Tomorrow starts the second semester, and I will be teaching one section of freshmen, whom for the most part I don't know from Adam. It will be my chance to once again lay on the fear and trembling, work hard or you'll be toast, get to class on time or sit in detention, be good in class "or else" routine—while throwing in a bit of humor here and there along the way. It should be fun!
posted by redsoxwinthisyear at 5:15 PM
4 Comments:
My comment at the end of this post is to say: I think you're cool :)
Hey thanks! I always wanted to be cool! :-)
Chad, did you know that pizza is bad for you? ;-p
Good luck on the audition!
Nu?
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