Overzealous Parents
I will try to be rational about this. I really will. I know I can't know exactly what it's like to be a parent in this situation I'm about to describe. So I don't know for sure that I wouldn't act this way myself. But I really hope I wouldn't. It's ridiculous. It's rude. It's immature. And it's no wonder our society as we know it is crumbling, our culture is going to pot, etc.
To what do I refer? To what I hear when sitting among parents of children during their sports games. It's bad enough when the game is close and neither side is way ahead. It's downright ugly when the parents are watching their children get crushed by the opposition.
What's ugly? Their complaining. Especially about the referees. If it wasn't so immature, it might be funny. Despite the immaturity, part of it is still funny. Why? Because sometimes parents complain about some bad call that clearly wasn't a bad one. Like the player from my school who takes a charge in basketball, having clearly been set before being plowed under. But are the parents rational enough to see that? Of course not. "Aww, come on ref, he was moving!" somebody shouts from behind me. Or their team's player clobbers the opponent, and the parent screams that he barely touched him after the official whistles a foul. Those are examples. Then there are times when the ref made a bad call, or missed a call, and the parents go berserk. But do they display such anger when the bad call goes their way? Of course not. And despite the fact that officials miss calls (after all, they are human), I don't think it gives parents the right to shout refs down until hoarse.
Maybe parents aren't always this bad, but at the basketball game I attended this evening they were. Of course, in the interest of full disclosure, the rude parents have their children in a school that was a bit of a basketball rival of my high school, and which happened to crush my team twice when I played freshman basketball against them. So maybe I am subconciously bitter and prejudiced against anyone connected with this school. But I think not. Be that as it may, it's amazing how passionate parents get about their children's games these days. It's no wonder you've had incidents with parents beating up coaches or whoever after some game, because I have recently seen how emotions run very high in the bleachers. (The other night, at a hockey game, emotions were similarly high, though maybe parents were a little less rude.)
Another fact that makes parents' complaining humorous: sometimes they clearly display a lack of knowledge about the rules, and complain about something that wasn't called but was perfectly legal. (Note to self, and to all parents who cheer on their kids: make sure you know enough about the rules of a sport before you complain about a ref missing a call on something!)
I can understand passionately cheering on your child. That's natural and acceptable. But what is not so natural--or perhaps too much so, as the flaws in human nature are clearly seen when it happens--is the constant derision leveled against referees. It was pretty nasty tonight, as my school was dominating their opponent. I was around several supporters of the losing team, and the vitriol they poured out toward the officials was disturbing. (On a side note, one of the funniest responses I heard from a student fan from my school to a crowd of rowdy students from the other went something like this, when the score was something like 47-19: "You double your score, and you're still down by nine to us. What are you cheering about?" Points to that student for originality!)
Now that I am a teacher, I am much more aware about setting a good example as a fan in the bleachers. I can be a passionate fan, and in the past have been inclined to make comments myself about the officiating, etc. Now I keep my mouth shut (at least most of the time!). And now when I see parents around me setting such a poor example for students by complaining and yelling, etc., I think it's really sad. My thoughts, if only they could hear them and shape up: Can't you just grow up? What good is it going to do to yell at them, even if they are bad? What will this teach your children about the right way to behave when faced with adversity? What will it teach other teenagers about dealing with anger? It's more understandable to see a crowd of teenagers together act rude towards others (but certainly not acceptable). It's less comprehensible to me--and more disturbing--when I see parents act the same way.
To what do I refer? To what I hear when sitting among parents of children during their sports games. It's bad enough when the game is close and neither side is way ahead. It's downright ugly when the parents are watching their children get crushed by the opposition.
What's ugly? Their complaining. Especially about the referees. If it wasn't so immature, it might be funny. Despite the immaturity, part of it is still funny. Why? Because sometimes parents complain about some bad call that clearly wasn't a bad one. Like the player from my school who takes a charge in basketball, having clearly been set before being plowed under. But are the parents rational enough to see that? Of course not. "Aww, come on ref, he was moving!" somebody shouts from behind me. Or their team's player clobbers the opponent, and the parent screams that he barely touched him after the official whistles a foul. Those are examples. Then there are times when the ref made a bad call, or missed a call, and the parents go berserk. But do they display such anger when the bad call goes their way? Of course not. And despite the fact that officials miss calls (after all, they are human), I don't think it gives parents the right to shout refs down until hoarse.
Maybe parents aren't always this bad, but at the basketball game I attended this evening they were. Of course, in the interest of full disclosure, the rude parents have their children in a school that was a bit of a basketball rival of my high school, and which happened to crush my team twice when I played freshman basketball against them. So maybe I am subconciously bitter and prejudiced against anyone connected with this school. But I think not. Be that as it may, it's amazing how passionate parents get about their children's games these days. It's no wonder you've had incidents with parents beating up coaches or whoever after some game, because I have recently seen how emotions run very high in the bleachers. (The other night, at a hockey game, emotions were similarly high, though maybe parents were a little less rude.)
Another fact that makes parents' complaining humorous: sometimes they clearly display a lack of knowledge about the rules, and complain about something that wasn't called but was perfectly legal. (Note to self, and to all parents who cheer on their kids: make sure you know enough about the rules of a sport before you complain about a ref missing a call on something!)
I can understand passionately cheering on your child. That's natural and acceptable. But what is not so natural--or perhaps too much so, as the flaws in human nature are clearly seen when it happens--is the constant derision leveled against referees. It was pretty nasty tonight, as my school was dominating their opponent. I was around several supporters of the losing team, and the vitriol they poured out toward the officials was disturbing. (On a side note, one of the funniest responses I heard from a student fan from my school to a crowd of rowdy students from the other went something like this, when the score was something like 47-19: "You double your score, and you're still down by nine to us. What are you cheering about?" Points to that student for originality!)
Now that I am a teacher, I am much more aware about setting a good example as a fan in the bleachers. I can be a passionate fan, and in the past have been inclined to make comments myself about the officiating, etc. Now I keep my mouth shut (at least most of the time!). And now when I see parents around me setting such a poor example for students by complaining and yelling, etc., I think it's really sad. My thoughts, if only they could hear them and shape up: Can't you just grow up? What good is it going to do to yell at them, even if they are bad? What will this teach your children about the right way to behave when faced with adversity? What will it teach other teenagers about dealing with anger? It's more understandable to see a crowd of teenagers together act rude towards others (but certainly not acceptable). It's less comprehensible to me--and more disturbing--when I see parents act the same way.
posted by redsoxwinthisyear at 10:22 PM
1 Comments:
Uh-oh. I heard a couple parents making a few remarks about the refs at a game I was at last week. . . I really wasn't very loud or very complaining. . .The other parent was sitting on the player's bench and after that parent said, "Aw ref, that was a travel!" I heard the ref go up to Clyde and say, "Coach, no calls from your bench to the ref, except by you" or some such. I don't think we badly fit the mold you described, but perhaps some improvement could be made. . .
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