I Smell a Rat: Or Something is Rotten in the State of Denmark

For some reason, I continue to be amazed by what students try to get away with. Honestly, I believe they think teachers are downright stupid. Or maybe they don't think too much about the likelihood of getting caught doing something wrong. Perhaps they have an aura of invincibility about them. Maybe they're just high stakes gamblers, willing to take a risk of significant consequences to get away with missing a class or two.

My tale is true. But it baffles me why it is. The depths to which kids will go to cover their poor choices, to put it kindly, is astounding. I won't go into all the specifics for fear of compromising something or other, but this is roughly what happened...

I gave a test. On the test day, two students were absent from my class, but were present in homeroom according to the records. This usually means one of three things: the homeroom teacher made an error and marked them present when they really were absent, nowhere to be found on any part of school grounds during any part of the school day; the student was in homeroom, but missed my class for some legitimate reason, such as getting dismissed for an athletic competition, a doctor or dentist appointment, sickness, etc; or the student was in homeroom but decided to take a break from my class just because they felt like it. This last category is called "cutting class," is generally frowned upon by teachers and administrators alike, and normally results in anything from detention(s) to suspension (if it happens often enough).

What made the absence of these students more interesting was the sighting of one of them later in the same school day. This student claimed they had left to see the doctor before the test, then had returned to school after the appointment. So I checked the official record, but found there was no evidence that either this or the other student had gotten dismissed before my class. Sure looked like cutting and then lying about it to me. Both are school offenses.

The next day when the students were in class I asked them if they had documentation to explain their absence. When a student gets dismissed, they get a special form from the office with a bunch of different canned categories and boxes to be checked, depending on the reason for the dismissal (things like "doctor's appointment," "personal business," etc.) Both students produced the official documentation. This was slightly puzzling. I had expected no documentation to support a dismissal, as the official computer record had nothing on their early departure. By now I was quite suspicious. Could this actually be what it seemed to be? Somehow, could these students have gone so far as to steal this documentation?

Up for the challenge of solving a little mystery, I employed my detective skills--finely-honed, I might add, in no small part due to devouring in my youth anything and everything by Arthur Conan Doyle on Sherlock Holmes--to sniff out this mystery. I needed to be absolutely sure this was not some clerical error in the office. It could be the secretary had failed to enter the dismissal information in the system. So I trotted over to administration and broached the subject with an administrator. They promised to look into it. One of their first reactions was to think what I was thinking: this could be a crime of dastardly proportions, a forgery or theft of school documentation, which is atypical for cutting class. I mean, what student is going to take the time to try and steal or forge school documentation? Don't they have better things to do, especially if they can't even take the time to come to your class? Most students who cut may try and lie to cover their tracks. They might even forge a note from a parent to explain what was really an illegitimate absence. But it is rare indeed to have a student steal or replicate what is an official school form! This is extra dirty, to be sure.

As things developed, it seemed more and more likely that I had uncovered a forgery or theft of some kind, of the school paperwork. As I continued to think about it, I realized that previous to these two students being gone I had had a third student who was absent under similar circumstances. Attuned now to the distinct possibility that this could be a widespread problem, I checked with the office on the record of this third student's dismissal. There was no record. Another forger/thief was thus uncovered.

Due to some good work on the part of administration, they found out that this third student was the one who had scanned and reproduced the forms, then passed them on to the other two students. Can you believe it? These are students in a college track class. They are sociable, "nice" kids, as far as anyone can see on the surface. But who knows how much they have cheated to get to where they are now. Since they went the second mile to cover up their cutting class, it also wouldn't surprise me if their system of ethics has allowed for any and all cheating they can get away with. And someday they will probably get college degrees--likely also cheating their way to them--and then serve as managers and adminstrators in various white collar jobs across America, where they will boss others around and be involved in making ethical choices concerning the future of them and many others. How scary is that? Calvinists, chalk this up as one in your column to support your argument. Humans are really and utterly depraved. This kind of conniving is absolutely ridiculous.

But for now, they are busted. I have yet to learn the consequence for their actions. I only hope that it will be just, and commensurate with the seriousness of their action.