Pizza, Utter Terror, and Scaring Freshmen

Random facts in my life:
I think I must have set some sort of record for most dinners and other meals consisting of pizza in one week. This was the result of a lot of leftover pizza from the Patriots party I hosted last week. I then ate pizza for two lunches during the week, as well as dinner Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday evening! And I still enjoyed the last piece! Gotta love Pizza Hut pizza! And the freedom to be able to do such a thing without being scolded about how unhealthy it is (Mom, if you read this please hold off on the scolding)!

On to another fact. I wish I could say I am over getting frightened. I am not. I experienced utter terror last evening. It was AWFUL!!! What made me so frightened? Auditioning for Beauty and the Beast. Sounds crazy, right? How could I, after having performed in front of tens of thousands (I was just trying to think about whether this is an exaggeration; but I don't think it is. A good estimate of total audience members of various shows I have performed in over the years would number in the tens of thousands) of people, get so scared about auditioning? I don't know. Even after practicing my monologue umpteen times, and singing my song through oh so many times, I still faced incredible fear, nervousness, anxiety, etc., as I waited to perform in front of a panel of people, most of whom I did not know. I was panicking so much I had a hard time remembering my monologue just minutes before I was on to perform it. That's a bad sign, especially after having rehearsed it for the already mentioned umpteen times. This panic may have been compounded by the fact that I had to wait maybe an hour and a three quarters after arriving before I was called to go before the directors. Such a wait isn't very good for a case of already-somewhat-jittery nerves. Then, as I was in the audition room with four other would-be actors, my heart was literally racing as I sat there. I had to consciously make myself breathe. Still my heart raced. It didn't help any that I was supposed to cut most of the song I had been practicing. Though I knew this in advance, it was still a little bit of a challenge, especially since I hadn't practiced it with a live piano that way. So the intro the accompanist gave me (and what I had asked for) caught me totally off guard, and I missed the entrance. Gulp. Start over. Much better this time, though the tempo was way slower than I had rehearsed, and it was a bit annoying to try and keep with it. I know in theory that I could have sped up and the accompanist should have followed, but thinking about it afterward I'm not sure he would have been able to keep up, which could have been even more disastrous, so it's probably as well that I didn't try to control it.
After the song came the monologue. It's probably a good thing I was cut off after a bit, because I probably would have forgotten the rest of it, amidst the ongoing grip of terror I was in. Of course, if I had forgotten it I probably would have jumped around a bit and still been able to cobble something together, probably well-enough that it wouldn't have been too obvious that I had messed up. Still, it was a bit of a relief to be done that. (Note to acting neophytes: being cut off is not a bad sign. When there are many people auditioning, as there were last night, directors often cut you off after getting enough of a sense of your ability, whatever it may be.)

And then the dancing routine, which had just been taught us a while before. I chose the easier routine, which was actually quite basic, and about all I can manage. It wasn't as bad as I thought it might be.

Now there's the waiting period, to see if I'll get called back, be cast, or be left home to shrivel up in my hole and pretend I never went through such a horrific experience, and try to forget it. I think I'll be quite happy with the last option, except for the questions that would linger in my head about whether rejection was based on mistakes I made in the audition, or simply lacking the talent/connections to land the role. I decided not to accept just any role, but only a couple of specific ones, which are rather juicy. I can't justify to myself putting in the time and energy that a show requires, amidst my rather busy teaching schedule, unless it's a once in a lifetime kind of role that I would be foolish to turn down. So I continue to wait, curious to know whether I am way out of my league, whether I am close and might be given another shot, or whether the stars are properly aligned this time and my height, build, and less-than-beautiful baritone will all work together to land the kind of role I would not get if they were looking for a tenor of average height and incredible dancing ability!

And now, concerning freshmen. I will get a batch of them tomorrow. To teach even. Tomorrow starts the second semester, and I will be teaching one section of freshmen, whom for the most part I don't know from Adam. It will be my chance to once again lay on the fear and trembling, work hard or you'll be toast, get to class on time or sit in detention, be good in class "or else" routine—while throwing in a bit of humor here and there along the way. It should be fun!

Are You Symbolic of Society's Degradation?

I'm feeling like I'm in a prophetic mood. (No, I am NOT a prophet, nor am I making any claims that way!) That is to say, I'm feeling preachy, like putting things into black and white, and railing against the lack of integrity that has crept into our society. So if you don't want to risk possibly being included in the group at which the wrath in this post is directed, stop reading NOW.




Still reading? Ok, here goes. Picture this scenario: you are driving quite a bit faster than the posted speed limit, and as you are zipping along a car coming in the opposite direction flashes their lights at you, suggesting a cop is up ahead somewhere. Grateful for the warning, you slow down, and sure enough, you soon pass a police car on the side of the road. Wanting to follow the Golden Rule, and help out someone else like you have just been helped, after a bend in the road makes you invisible to the cop you flash your lights to warn cars about to drive into the speed trap.

Is this behavior really an appropriate application of the Golden Rule? Are you being Christlike to warn others to slow down? No. You are what is wrong with society. You are making it more difficult for the authorities in power to see that the rule of law is enforced. And you are wrong. It would be much better if no oncoming car had warned you, and that you had gotten a 300 dollar speeding ticket. You are a danger to society, and you are encouraging people to act dangerously. How can you live with acting that way? The rule of law ought to be upheld. Warning others is not following the golden rule, unless giving someone a tip about how they can rob a bank without getting caught is also following the golden rule. (In case you are wondering, it isn't!)

My thinking is based on the following facts.
1. Unless a law contradicts a biblical principal or command of God, either via general revelation or personal revelation, we ought to follow it.
2. If you are jamming on the brakes when warned about a police officer ahead, you are breaking the law. Your fear of getting caught proves that you know this. And since you know you are a law breaker, this is a spiritual problem as well as a threat to society. When the rule of law is not upheld, society will disintegrate. When you violate a law for no good reason, and knowlingly, you are disobeying the New Testament command to respect the law and lawful authorities.
3. Larger problems will develop within a society if disrespect for the law increases beyond "less significant" laws like obeying the posted speed limit.
4. Not only is this a social and spiritual problem, but you are posing a danger to others, and encouraging others in dangerous behavior. The risk of accident is much greater when you drive significantly over the speed limit. If you warn others to slow down simply because there is a cop about, their speed will only decrease as long as they think an officer is near.
5. It would be a very good thing for speeders to get caught. Isn't a speeding ticket more likely to significantly alter a pattern of dangerous driving (speeding)? If not that, then what? An accident that kills someone else?

Personally, I often wish that anyone who whizzes by me at 5 mph or faster than the speed I'm driving at will be pulled over and nailed for speeding. I practically yearn for the day when I will see every speeder at the side of the road with those lovely blue lights flashing. Part of this might be carnal, but I think part of it is healthy. It's simply wanting to see justice served, and the rule of law upheld. Why should I obey the law while others don't and get away with it? They shouldn't get away with it.

I wonder sometimes if those who speed badly justify their behavior for breaking the law by reasoning something like this: the speed limit isn't really practical. No one follows it. Those who advocate following it are hypocrites, for even they drive 5 mph over. It is just a matter of finding a comfortable speed over the limit, and sticking with that (whether it be 10, 12, 15, or 20 mph over). The roads are really designed for speeds higher than the posted limit, so I'm really not a danger to anyone to drive a bit faster. I'm not really THAT bad of a driver, for sometimes other cars drive by me. I'm much better than others. They are the real speeders. If I'm given a ticket, it won't be fair, for the cops missed several others who are worse.

I harken back to a great piece of advice from my FBI teacher, Mr. M. You should only drive at a speed that you won't alter a bit should you see a police officer. This does not always mean the speed limit. But it means that your conscience is clean, for you believe it is in keeping with the spirit of the law.

Flashing your lights to warn others of a police officer is not only promoting danger, lawbreaking, and probably even a sin. It is also a sign of a general "us versus authority" mentality that is all to present in our world today. I see it among high school students a lot, and it irritates me to no end. How many students will report cheating among their peers? Virtually no one. How many will report any "minor" rules violation of their peers? Virtually no one. Why not? It's because there's an unwritten code of behavior out there that "ratting" is a terrible sin. And promoting justice by reporting such violations is definitely "ratting." Makes me think about the Bible verse that says men will call evil good and good evil. It definitely applies here. The good that is helping to uphold law by volunteering information (at least when directly asked) is seen as gross misconduct, and liable sometimes to get you beat up. How sick is this?

Obviously there has to be a balance to this. I'm not suggesting we have a police state, where everyone is encouraged to be a tattletale and informant on their neighbor. But cheating is a good example of the kind of behavior that should be reported. At least if you are directly asked if you know of anyone who cheated.

It seems like I had some more thoughts to add on this, but now my momentum in writing this seems to be fizzling. I've probably said enough. Is speeding the worst social ill out there? No. Should we put cameras up everywhere to limit speeding? Probably not. I just wish that people's hearts were all in a place where they respected law enough to follow it even if no one is watching. After all, that's what character is, isn't it? I'm not surprised to see a lack of character in nonbelievers. But I hope it is not present in believers. If it is, I would suggest that those believers are also symbolic of society's degradation...

Why Do Students Have to Cheat?

I'm so irritated/disappointed right now. I caught some of my favorite (most of my them are "favorites," so this is somewhat of a meaningless adjective, but useful anyway to qualify my pain) students cheating on a homework assignment today. I usually don't collect it, but did today, and found some more than coincidental identical answers on a portion of homework that should not have had identical answers. To put it another way, the odds of eight answers being virtually identical, even down to the slight modifications they made from the original text, are about as condemning as you can get (this was true in one case; in another case one student confessed, which made determining guilt easier).

I'm also irritated because I think I falsely accused one pair of students about cheating. I thought I picked up on it during class, confronted them at the end of class, and they denied it. I reexamined it, and though it is still fishy I am not 100 percent sure they did (this case is different from two other cases, which are slam dunk cheating). So now I'll have to sort out talking to the guilty parties and the perhaps not guilty parties tomorrow. Sigh. The sad thing is I know that I only catch probably 1 percent of the cheating that goes on. So when that 1 percent is caught, it really should not be overlooked. It doesn't make sense to just say "It's ok this time, but don't let me catch you again" when they will be able to cheat another 99 times before I do catch them again. What kind of message does that send? So I have to deal with what I've caught as a significant deal, with students I would naturally speaking like to get along with well. Do parents wonder if their children will ever love them again when they discipline them? Any parents out there feel free to chime in on this. If so, I'm feeling like a parent. But not like God. I don't think God is afraid His children won't love them again when He disciplines!

I'm also disturbed because I think most students tend to vehemently deny it when they are confronted with cheating. So I am faced with the prospect tomorrow that when I talk to several students each of them will deny it, which hurts even more when there is such overwhelming evidence and you like to think that your relationship with students is such that they don't lie to you every other minute. Maybe you can pray that confessions will occur and that repentance will be genuine. And that I'll have the grace to apologize to any I wrongly accused today...