Reflections on the Year and Extant Coverings: Not to Be Confused with Textiles Produced and Exported from Persia to Europe in the Sixteenth Century

In case you're wondering, I've been filling my brain with Middle East history the last couple of days, in an effort to prepare myself for the course I'll be teaching come September. And I was consumed with a desire to create a really long blog title, just to see if it could be done and what it would look like. Plus I think some of the erudition to which I have been exposed is rubbing off on me, so I have to show it by creating a long title worthy of a dissertation. But I digress.

The school year is over. The last exam has been corrected, the last grade verified and turned in, the last book stored away. They await another crop of eager, fresh-faced students, soon to be weirded out by my enthusiasm for history, overwhelmed by my high expectations, yet inspired by my natural charisma, which will push them to succeed beyond their wildest dreams (hey, it never hurts to set high goals as a teacher, even if I'm not there yet!). Despite various trials and tribulations, the year has been a very good one. It was better than the first, and the first wasn't even all that bad. But I enjoyed this year much better. And I think I like the second year's crop of students even better than the first (though don't tell them I said that!) I worked graduation again this year, and it was nice to be able to go around and extend good wishes to students I had in class the year before. Next year there will be about twice as many students in that category, many more of whom I think I have bonded with better than the first year.

I learned from some of my rookie mistakes, too. The first year I gave an end of the year survey shortly after three significant assignments had been turned in, within about a month's time. The survey was anonymous, and asked questions like "If you could change one thing about this class, what would it be?" and "Any other comments about this class." This set the stage for trouble. Those who were enraged with my grading, the workload, or whatever, often felt emboldened to complain vociferously about the class, and think they were anonymous in doing so. (They weren't really, as I had writing samples to match them up with if I cared to do so.) Comments included things like "I'd change the teacher," "The grading wasn't fair, I got marked down for things I wasn't told about," and "You don't get a good grade if you're smart, only if you work hard." Though all were not harsh, I wasn't particularly encouraged reading these surveys. It was somewhat depressing.

I did put parts of them to good use. I selected pieces of advice given for future classes and provided it as a handout to next year's class on the first day of school. Advice included things like "Do all your homework, it's hell to pull yourself back up if you get behind," "Don't mess with [my name]," "Don't believe all the rumors about [my name]," "Do your work and you'll be fine," etc. I then used it as a wakeup call to students to let them know that if they wanted to survive they would have to work. Most got the message, though a few of them will be taking the same course next year, and perhaps wishing they had listened a little closer the first time around.

Remembering that disheartening episode, I planned for a much different outcome this time around. This time I made one of the three assignments optional. It was an extra credit opportunity for those who wanted to help themselves. Then I planned a party for the classes to celebrate the hard work they had done. Then I gave them the surveys on the same day as the party, as or after they were all stuffing their faces with food and drink. Smart, huh? I think so! I took to heart a comment of a more experienced teacher who suggested that the current state of mind of a student had a lot to do with the feedback they would give. This time, the state of mind was a little better.

I also changed the survey to discourage those cowards who might want to take cheap shots in anonymity. I had them put their name on the survey. I narrowed the scope and content of the questions. I eliminated the "What would you change?" question and focused on the positive, such as subjects they enjoyed, things they liked about the class, etc. I still gave opportunity for them to advise future students. A few took cheap shots, like "take a higher level class, it'll be easier," or "get a different teacher." However, this time I'm accustomed to dealing with such immaturity, so it's not as big a deal. The kicker question was the last one. "Other comments to make [my name] happy, or convince him that he has taught a group of diligent, hard-working and mature students this year."

How's that for using a little psychological warfare? Brilliant, or what? I then told students that the survey was not designed for them to spout about how they hated the class. After all, if they did, I probably knew that already. Instead I told them it was an opportunity to provide constructive feedback.

The results were significantly different from last year. I also hope and have reason to think they were genuine. There was little reason for students to say nice things just because they wanted to make me happy. They knew it wouldn't change their academic standing. Some paraphrased comments:
"Before I thought history was boring, but you made it interesting."
"Thanks for believing in me" [from a student who had been lazy early on, but I had challenged her to maximize her potential, which is significant, and she picked things up admirably the rest of the year]
"I'm thankful to have a class where we actually learned something"
"This was one of the best classes I have had for how it prepared me for college"
"Despite what people say, you're an awesome teacher"
"Although at times I didn't enjoy it and complained, it was gratifying to earn a good grade, because I worked hard for it"
"Overall I enjoyed the class"
"Although at times the class was challenging and you graded hard, I enjoyed it"

These comments served as the kind of instant gratification for teaching that teachers aren't supposed to get. Students aren't supposed to say these things, until they are old and show up at your funeral, or if you're lucky at their school's fortieth anniversary or something.

Now to the covering part. After feeling very good about the whole year, on the last work day I went to a faculty shindig to socialize a bit, and got into a conversation with an English teacher. She expressed concern, because some of our mutual students came to her and expressed a fear that they didn't know how to write, because they got a bad grade on their research paper in my class. They were too scared to come and talk to me about it, thought I wouldn't care anyway, felt they were failures, etc. (This from one of the students who enjoyed the class overall!) Uh oh. The teacher encouraged the students to talk to me about their paper. But they never did. I was not surprised to hear of one of the student's worries, but was that another who I have a really good relationship with (in fact, she signed up to take another class with me) felt that way. Either it was a temporary feeling that was assuaged by later comments I made to her to build her up, or there's a serious lack of understanding about how I feel about my students, including her.

I think two things should be learned from this:

1. There's a great need to emphasize my care and concern for each student and their success, and to plead with them to talk to me about any grading they don't understand. I have done this a lot already, so was surprised to hear they were still scared/thought I didn't care. But maybe it needs to be repeated more. Or maybe I should try and speak to all students who get a poor grade, if I think they care.

2. That phenomenon referred to by some as the "covering." Generally the covering is spoken of as preventing people from seeing the reality of the things of God. But I have concluded that it can include veiling those who are bearing testimony to the character of God. This would certainly include compassion, concern, desire to see people do well, etc. I suspect the covering is a barrier--fortunately not insuperable--that has to be dealt with before students can clearly see and understand how I might feel toward them. If they could, they might know more about how God feels about them as well.

Prayer Helps

For those of you who read my last post and were provoked to pray, a hearty thank you. Prayer helps, that's for sure. Although this situation is not fully resolved, and has left some unpleasant feelings about some students and how it has all played out, it has not made me hate my job or anything that drastic. And I don't think I'm permanently damaged. Grace has been granted to me. I'm learning that amidst the pleasure associated with working with teenagers comes occasional bouts of pain, such as I recently experienced. These bouts can leave scars, but are also learning experiences. I remind myself that I am working with fallen individuals who also lack a great deal of maturity. Remembering this gives perspective to everything, even if situations are not easy.

And there is so much positive involved in working with students that it is silly to dwell on the negative for more than short periods of time. One of my hispanic students in World History who failed the first semester and third quarter has turned himself totally around. He is now doing his work diligently and really trying on tests. He should pass the semester. This is a blessing, especially when so many others who fail to start with tend to continue in that pattern. I think for this student there is external motivation at work besides my natural charisma (which should be enough, but what can I say?), such as wanting to become a sophomore or avoid the wrath of parents. Nevertheless, it is nice to see positive change. I also have a bunch of diligent U.S. History students who have been pushed hard all year long, and continue to excel. I know some of them probably complain behind my back at the heavy work load. I am not an easy teacher for those looking to get a good grade without doing a lot of work. But I am proud of many of them. This includes those who have enough talent that they should be earning an A, and are, as well as students who do not have as much natural intelligence, but nevertheless work really hard and earn a B or B+. These types of students are a joy to teach.

Then there's also summer to look forward to, as well as next year's classes. I'm already anticipating a new crop of fresh minds to shape (like putty in my hand, heh, heh), as well as the return of students who like me enough that they have signed up for another class with me! I'm learning that for the professional teacher, the job never really ends. For those of you who think teachers "get their summers off," think again. Maybe this will ring true after years of experience, but for now I have a fairly large amount of work to do to prepare for next year's classes. Ever try to teach or prepare an honors level class for Ivy League bound students (and other "smart" kids) in a subject you are not very familiar with without a level-appropriate textbook? That's one of my jobs this summer! As a teacher I feel I should bring my "A" game to the classroom. This means staying ahead of the students, especially those with sharp minds who will eat you alive (or at least complain to their parents that you're an idiot) if they sense you are not well versed in the subject.

The honors class is only one of the new courses I have to prep. The other is a brand new class (History of the Middle East) that I have to design. And given the current budget situation in my town, I don't know if I'll even have a text to offer students to use. That's right, no text! This adds to the fun/challenge of teaching. But give me a roomful ("roomful" is not really a word, but it should be, so I'm using it as if it is) of students who want to learn the material--or at least pass the course--and teaching is a lot easier than dealing with a class where half of the students don't care what their grade is. Middle East should fall under the former category. Suffice it to say that summer will provide a nice change of pace, although it will be full of stuff to do. Bring on the reading list, transcribing, and learning/supervising those who are learning more history.

Your Worldview Helps

Times are a wee bit hard right now. But it helps to have a worldview that expects opposition when you are doing good, wherever that may be. This was about the first response that came to mind when one of my co-workers asked me today how it is that I am not considering quitting my job right now. It's bad enough that I suppose some may consider leaving were they in my shoes. But since I believe I'm supposed to be here, I'm simply digging in for the long haul, hanging on for the ride, doing my best to not let it get the better of me, etc.

I won't go into the nitty-gritty, but it revolves around a student creating a myspace account in my name, with my picture, and saying nasty stuff about me on it. For those of you who don't know, some say this constitutes identify fraud (as opposed to theft). Fraud is a felony in my state, but I doubt the police will take the time or money to prosecute this one. The craziest thing is that the student, who has been nabbed, is someone I don't know from Adam. I can understand a vengeful student a little better than being targeted for some other reason. It seems to be motivated by homophobia. I suspect he went after me based on perceived sexual orientation. That's pretty ironic, I think, especially if you know me. Now don't accuse me of going off the deep end or anything, but I'm pretty much persuaded now that homophobia in the public schools is a serious issue. Not that I needed to be convinced any after an experience I had last year. But that's another story. Life goes on, I hang on.