Overzealous Parents

I will try to be rational about this. I really will. I know I can't know exactly what it's like to be a parent in this situation I'm about to describe. So I don't know for sure that I wouldn't act this way myself. But I really hope I wouldn't. It's ridiculous. It's rude. It's immature. And it's no wonder our society as we know it is crumbling, our culture is going to pot, etc.

To what do I refer? To what I hear when sitting among parents of children during their sports games. It's bad enough when the game is close and neither side is way ahead. It's downright ugly when the parents are watching their children get crushed by the opposition.

What's ugly? Their complaining. Especially about the referees. If it wasn't so immature, it might be funny. Despite the immaturity, part of it is still funny. Why? Because sometimes parents complain about some bad call that clearly wasn't a bad one. Like the player from my school who takes a charge in basketball, having clearly been set before being plowed under. But are the parents rational enough to see that? Of course not. "Aww, come on ref, he was moving!" somebody shouts from behind me. Or their team's player clobbers the opponent, and the parent screams that he barely touched him after the official whistles a foul. Those are examples. Then there are times when the ref made a bad call, or missed a call, and the parents go berserk. But do they display such anger when the bad call goes their way? Of course not. And despite the fact that officials miss calls (after all, they are human), I don't think it gives parents the right to shout refs down until hoarse.

Maybe parents aren't always this bad, but at the basketball game I attended this evening they were. Of course, in the interest of full disclosure, the rude parents have their children in a school that was a bit of a basketball rival of my high school, and which happened to crush my team twice when I played freshman basketball against them. So maybe I am subconciously bitter and prejudiced against anyone connected with this school. But I think not. Be that as it may, it's amazing how passionate parents get about their children's games these days. It's no wonder you've had incidents with parents beating up coaches or whoever after some game, because I have recently seen how emotions run very high in the bleachers. (The other night, at a hockey game, emotions were similarly high, though maybe parents were a little less rude.)

Another fact that makes parents' complaining humorous: sometimes they clearly display a lack of knowledge about the rules, and complain about something that wasn't called but was perfectly legal. (Note to self, and to all parents who cheer on their kids: make sure you know enough about the rules of a sport before you complain about a ref missing a call on something!)

I can understand passionately cheering on your child. That's natural and acceptable. But what is not so natural--or perhaps too much so, as the flaws in human nature are clearly seen when it happens--is the constant derision leveled against referees. It was pretty nasty tonight, as my school was dominating their opponent. I was around several supporters of the losing team, and the vitriol they poured out toward the officials was disturbing. (On a side note, one of the funniest responses I heard from a student fan from my school to a crowd of rowdy students from the other went something like this, when the score was something like 47-19: "You double your score, and you're still down by nine to us. What are you cheering about?" Points to that student for originality!)

Now that I am a teacher, I am much more aware about setting a good example as a fan in the bleachers. I can be a passionate fan, and in the past have been inclined to make comments myself about the officiating, etc. Now I keep my mouth shut (at least most of the time!). And now when I see parents around me setting such a poor example for students by complaining and yelling, etc., I think it's really sad. My thoughts, if only they could hear them and shape up: Can't you just grow up? What good is it going to do to yell at them, even if they are bad? What will this teach your children about the right way to behave when faced with adversity? What will it teach other teenagers about dealing with anger? It's more understandable to see a crowd of teenagers together act rude towards others (but certainly not acceptable). It's less comprehensible to me--and more disturbing--when I see parents act the same way.

Ugh

What a way to begin the week! I am now officially depressed.

Thoughts on 24 and Language on Lying

It's time to get somethings off my chest. (Spoiler warning: if you haven't watched the first four episodes of season six for 24, you might not want to read this first part, but skip to the bottom. Consider yourself warned.)










Specifically, they are thoughts regarding 24. I thought the recent season opener was interesting, to say the least. There's some more intense drama. Some pretty crazy stuff, too. Jack Bauer turned vampire? Now that's a little gross, I say. You have to hand it to the writers, however, for continuing to add unpredictable elements to the story. I didn't see that one coming.

Despite the fact that I am a big fan of the show and I think Jack Bauer rocks, there is something that is really starting to bother me about the show in general. That concerns the way it portrays moral choices. I have been aware for some time about the fact that the show doesn't excactly promote proper behavior in relation to authority. Authority figures are always wrong in this show, and they must always be disobeyed to save the day and beat the bad guys. People who go behind the back of their superiors or violate their orders are never ultimately wrong. They are always exonerated. Despite this flawed moral message, it has been easy to detect and identify as silly, stupid, wrong, etc. So I can still enjoy the show for the drama, even as I have identified the wrong message it sends about authority.

However, in the past season and the current one, it seems like this "end justifies the means" morality has taken a turn for the worse. It's now more subtle in some ways. While there's still plenty of defying authority, now authority figures are using "the end justifies the means" morality to justify their behavior. Presidents now choose to do/promote/allow evil. They aren't contradicting a higher authority in the show by doing so, because they are the highest. Maybe this has been present since the beginning of 24, and I just can't remember it. But at the least I am noticing it now. And it's bugging me.

The logic used to justify these choices is so terribly flawed. It goes something like this: bad guy threatens to do bad things if I don't do x (which is also bad). Though x is bad, if I don't do it then the bad guy will carry out his threat. So it will be my fault if bad guy does his bad thing, because I could stop it by being bad. So I'll do the bad, because it's my "only option," and I don't want to be held accountable for the bad actions of the terrorist.

Maybe it's political reality that a president will be held accountable for the actions of others, but it doesn't fit with moral law, which only holds individuals accountable for their own actions, and not that of others. So it kills me when a president chooses to allow Bauer to be murdered, for example, because a terrorist demands it, and the president thinks it is the only way to stop more terrorism from occuring. So wrong. And since when do you believe that a terrorist will honor his word? Such thinking kills me.







End of spoiler section

I'm afraid this "end result determines the morality of the previous action" mentality is too pervasive in society. At least it's present enough to fill the entire story line of a drama like 24. But I also see it in those who say "I lied" when something they said in the past turns out not to be true, even though they did not intend to be misleading at the time they said it. For example, if I say on Saturday that "I'm going to work on Monday," but then get sick Sunday night and do not go to work the next day, that is not a lie. But people commonly refer to this as a lie, because they only judge the statement by the end result, and do not take into account the motive/intent of the person when they made the original statement. It is, of course, silly to call this a lie, but many people do, and I think it's indicative of a larger trend toward Machiavellian morality. That is, people judge the merits of an action by its result, instead of its intent.

Closing thoughts on this. The next time you stop to help a little old lady with a flat tire, beware. If you fix her tire and get her going on her merry way, and then she is involved in an accident that kills her, you will be a murderer. You should have avoided murder by not helping her change her tire. Infallible logic, right?

How's that for a nice, light Friday evening post? :-)

Another Blonde Moment

My blonde "Anne" is back in action. Of course that isn't her name, but hard core readers of my blog may recall some rather funny blonde moments this dyed-in-the-wool blonde girl (now a sophomore) has. This is the girl who played Anne in the Diary of Anne Frank, so I call her that here. Well, she's still in rare form.

This time, it had to do with cell phones. She and some others were rehearsing and using cell phones, which required them to make the phone ring. She has a Justin Timberlake tune for one of her rings. Yay (excessive sarcasm). So she was quite unimpressed when she heard that someone else's phone didn't have any downloaded, hip rings. Totally serious, she blurts out "You only have the normal ringtones? Come on, this is the 20th century! What's wrong with you?"

Um, I think there's something wrong with you, honey. Like maybe your ability to identify the correct century! I wasn't as biting as that, but I made sure to properly make fun of her on the spot for her gaff. Oh the deliciousness of such moments...

Es historia aburrido(a?)?

I pride myself on recently passing a test. I am now a mature, experienced educator, able to handle with aplomb (what does that word mean anyway? I'm too lazy to look it up right now) anything that comes my way. Yup, I have moved beyond the ranks of those teachers who get the deer in the headlights, don't-know-what-to-do look, whenever a crisis presents itself. Now I react with deadly professionalism to anything that comes my way.

I wish. But recently I had an experience that shows me how I have developed as a teacher. This is what happened...

I found a student had left her textbook in my classroom. It happens, and no big deal, right? Except if they have homework to do from the book. I can't remember if that was the case this time. Anyway, I take a look at the brown paper bag cover over the text, to see it labeled as U.S. History. And in pen next to the course is scrawled "es my aburrido." I also discover this has been scrawled in the handwriting of a student who I like a lot. (She has a cool biblical name for one thing, so how can I not like her? But that's kind of off topic). Actually, I like most of my students a lot, so maybe I'm just droning on with irrelevant facts. Anyway, for those of you who don't know Spanish, "es muy aburrido" means "is very boring." Ouch!

"So that's how you feel about it, you loser!" I yelled to the empty classroom upon discovering her true feelings on the class. I then called her parents and vented to them about what a terribly disrespectful, crummy child they had raised, and told them she would fail the class. They promised to promptly spank her, and make her study history for the next three hours.

Actually, forget that last paragraph. It's fiction. So I was tempted to feel bad about this, and did a little I think. But I didn't let that get me down for long. The next day she came in and asked me if she had left her book in class. Yes, here it is. "Sabes que yo hablo espanol?" I asked her (Do you know that I speak Spanish? I don't think I used correct conjugations of some of my verbs, the form you're supposed to use in emotion/uncertainty situations, but Spanish speakers please forgive me, as I can't remember some of the correct tenses anymore.) "Estoy muy triste que piensas esta sobre mi clase. Comprendes?" (I'm very sad that you feel this way about my class. Do you understand?") She said she did. And boy was she embarrassed!

Later I tucked in a little reference to history and sarcastically/mockingly referred to it as boring, just for the fun of it. I think she got the point. I'm going to make fun of any attitude that puts down history! In using sarcasm I probably violated a cardinal rule of modern education methods. But I think it was acceptable under the circumstances

So there you have it. Lessons learned over the years? Don't take things personally, and embarrass students as much as possible. Okay, maybe not the last one. But at least make light of students boredom. If you feel badly about complaints or take them personally, your life as a teacher will be constantly depressed. But not mine. I love it. I still chuckle to myself as I think about the little secret she let me in on, probably because she didn't know I know a little espanol.

Incidentally, I think she may have used the incorrect form of the adjective. But I can't even remember what is correct myself, so don't know for sure. Is "historia" masculine or feminine?