Words that make the day

A student thanked me after class today for an assignment I gave, in which I had them pick a social issue they are concerned about and construct an argument about it. She picked an anti-abortion position (pro-life, as some like to call it). She told me she appreciated the assignment because she didn't really know a lot about it before, but that it pushed her to research and find reasons for her position. I'm not sure if this is heaven, but it has to be close. I mean, students thanking me for work I give them? If this trend of instant, positive feedback for teaching continues, I suppose a student next might give me an apple--better yet, Red Sox-Yankees tickets--for my efforts. (Hey, it might happen, right? One student informed me he's going to the game this Sunday. Feeling really jealous, I told him so. He told me that's why he told me, because he knew I'd be jealous.) When that happens, I will know for sure that I've passed on to another world.

Kicking Students Out

I finally kicked a student out of my class yesterday. This was a first for the year. Alas, teaching has a darker side to it. To put it another way, not all students are eager beavers ready to hang on the words of wisdom I daily spout for my meager fee (paid, of course, by their parents' tax dollars). It was a freshman girl I'll call Georgina.

Georgina was in my World History class last year. For the whole year. She's in my World History class again this year. And she's still a freshman, just as she was last year. Why, you may ask? Part of the answer should be obvious. She failed my class, and must have failed several others. For me, she did perhaps half of her homework assignments. Partly as a result of not studying, and partly because she probably cared less about doing well, her test average must have been in the 40 range. And if she was ever absent for a test, you could pretty much forget about her ever coming to make it up. So you get the idea about her desire to pass the course. Alas, even my inspirational, motivational speeches, natural charisma, and overall charm were unable to move her out of her apathy. Another reason she's in my class again is, I think, because she was ignorant to the fact that she doesn't have to pass my class to graduate (World History is an elective), and she was too lazy to try and find an alternative to sign up for.

Georgina, I'm pretty convinced, is a pathological liar. Perhaps not on the scale of another of my more memorable students, but a liar nonetheless. She's also one of those I'm rich-and-you're-not-and-I-know-it types. She also seems to have a sensitive nose. She complains if she thinks she is sitting near someone with b.o., and will try to move. On occasion last year she would produce a perfume bottle from her ever-present purse and fumigate the air. I learned that at least one teacher had written her up for such obnoxious behavior, so my class was not the only one in which she had odor issues. Last year she asked me if she could go to the nurse. She said she wasn't feeling well. This was on a day when the student council happened to be hosting a picnic outside, within eyesight of the windows in my room. I wrote her pass for her (even if we suspect it's not a legitimate illness, we really can't deny access to the nurse unless instructed to do so by an administrator), then proceeded to watch her periodically from my classroom as she hung out for the rest of the period at the picnic. Later, she had the audacity to suggest to me that it wasn't her I had seen in the courtyard, but someone who looked like her...

So, back to kicking her out. I was showing a movie in my class, and had an accompanying worksheet for students to complete as they watched. Now, the movie was definitely not in the thriller category. It was a documentary about the Egyptian pyramids. Still, I have no obligation to show thriller movies in class, but do have an obligation to attempt to instruct. The topic of study was Egypt, so the movie was on. Georgina wanted to sleep. She put her head down on her desk to rest. I told her to wake up. Repeatedly. She finally told me "I don't care what you say, I want to sleep." I then told her she could pay attention or get out of my class. (This was in line with what my principal, upon observing my class last year, had instructed me. "Never let a student sleep in your class," he had told me. "Up or out, that's the policy to use. And if you have a problem with a student, let me know.") So she agreed to go to her assistant principal (who deals with discipline issues). I let her go, and told her I would be checking later to make sure she went. Though removing a student for such a minor infraction may seem harsh, I was dutifully following my principal's instructions. And it is crucial to set a tone in the classroom that says defiance will not be tolerated. I hope that has now been accomplished.

Not surprisingly, I checked with the office later to learn that Georgina had never shown. The secretary was not surprised, and made a comment about her being up to her old tricks. Today I learned what the consequence was for Georgina's action. Four detentions. I guess she'll have plenty of opportunity to sleep at a desk now, as she whiles away time after school. Then again, if I was a betting man, I would put money on her never serving these detentions, which will eventually result in a day's suspension. Probably Georgina figures that staying in her own bed on some school day is a punishment to be much preferred over any detention. Such is the logic of all too many students at my school...

On another note, I still love teaching!!! The vast majority of my students are awesome, and so much worth the trouble others cause.

Big Papi!!!

David Ortiz is the man, isn't he? This guy is, once again, having a great year. He's incredible!

Laughing with Students and Other Reflections

Ah, for those moments in teaching when my students and I share a good laugh. This is happening more frequently my second year around, and with good result I think.

Before I explain, I should preface this by saying that my approach with the students has been much more relaxed and friendly this year, and it has paid dividends. My student teaching took place under a rather strict, no nonsense, disciplinarian type of teacher, who emphasized the importance of starting things out hard and then loosening up later. I agree in principle with this approach. You can't be easy on students for half a year or so, suddenly or even gradually get strict, and expect them to tolerate the change. But I think I may have taken things to an extreme last year. (Then again, maybe it was the best way to operate as a first year teacher dealing with classes of twenty-five some students just waiting to take advantage of any detectable weakness.) I was passionate about my subject, I communicated my dedication to the students and interest in seeing them succeed, but for some reason rarely felt comfortable about getting out of my comfort zone. I wasn't crazy enough. To put it another way, I didn't allow my actor instinct to kick in. Or maybe you could say I didn't allow my true personality to show? I'm not sure.

Whether or not I made a mistake in my approach last year, I have changed it this year. I make an effort to repress my introvertedness and engage my students in conversation about topics besides school. I try to smile a lot, tease students, chastise them lovingly for not doing their homework, get on their case, attend their sporting events AND talk to them about them, jokingly warn a girl her boyfriend is a real loser, (I have him in another class, so can speak with authority on the topic), etc.. Consequently, not only do my students know (I think) that I genuinely like them, but some of them show signs of liking me.

Speaking of joking, a student approached me today with an Egyptian bank note worth 50 something and wanted to know how much it was worth. I casually told him each unit was worth 100 U.S. dollars, which meant the note was worth 5000 dollars. I think he actually believed me for a minute. Another student seemed quite amazed. And yesterday I nonchalantly told a roomful of mostly freshman that the fire alarm going off in another school building most likely meant there was a fire going on there. I have such fun teasing young people!

But moving on to laughter. Two examples worth mentioning. During an introduction type activity last week, I learned that one of my female students was a cheerleader. Including my other classes, this was about the fifth or sixth cheerleader I had learned of, so I was like "Wow, this place is crawling with cheerleaders. They're all over the place! How many here are cheerleaders?" The one girl was the only one who raised her hand in the whole room. My students and I both thought this was funny, and had a good laugh. Ok, so they are crawling all over the place in my other classes, if not this one!

The second example came this week. We were learning about Marbury v. Madison and the principle of judicial review. As we were going over it, I got the inspiration on the spot (I love it when I'm struck with what I think is a good idea and can go with it right then) to use a blank piece of paper to illustrate a law, ask what happens to it when the Supreme Court declares it unconstitutional, then suddenly crumple it up and toss it in the trash for dramatic effect. In one class I tossed the crumpled paper over my shoulder, behind my back, in the direction of the recycling bin, but missed it. During the last class of the day, I made a perfect shot, and it went right in. Of course I acted like this was meant to happen all along, and there was nothing to it. In reality I was quite taken aback/pleased with myself, so much so that I lost my train of thought and paused for what must have seemed like an uncomfortably long time for my students. I then exclaimed, somewhat in disbelief, "That was pretty cool." For some reason this struck all of my students as hilarious, and we all had a good laugh.

It is moments like these that add so much to my teaching experience, and make it so much more enjoyable. I guess I'm in the right job!

Humorous Item of the Day

The assignment: it is 1787, and you have to craft a letter to the editor in support of or against ratification of the Constitution.

Part of one letter: "I believe that with George Washington, James Madison, and Alexander Hamilton as our top vocalists that a new form of government will do this country only good."

I only wish my student had specified which part each of these founders sang, and exactly how good they were. Hamilton as baritone? Washington as bass? They must have made quite a trio...

Parable of the Trees

In the spirit of being as wise as a serpent, I have decided to relay a parable. I make no claim to being a good story-teller, but this seems to be the most appropriate medium for the given content. I suspect those who have ears to hear (or eyes to see, in this case) will be able to hear its message. However, if you have any questions and would like to ask me the next time you see me, or even email me, feel free to do so...

There was a man who was given a task to do. This task involved working with seedlings of all shapes and kinds. His main job was to water the seedlings so they would grow into good, strong trees. This was his official job description, that of waterer and nurturer. But as he worked among these seedlings, and even before, he hoped those he cared for might someday be more than just strong trees. After all, trees are necessary for a good forest, but forests tend to die. And they certainly don't go anywhere, or ultimately enjoy pleasures like humans do. This man had a desire to turn the trees into men and women. If his employer had known this, maybe he would have gotten fired. After all, it sounds crazy, no? How can you turn a tree into a person?

Well, it so happened that this man had once been a seedling himself. But once upon a time he had heard about the availability of some magic water that was able to turn him from a seedling into a man. All he had to do for this to happen was to ask for the magic water. So, not knowing what to expect at first, as a seedling he had asked for and gotten some of this magic water. The change in his life had been amazing. Not only was he able to recognize the futility of forever remaining a tree, but he was able to enjoy life as a man in a way that would never have been possible had he remained a seedling, or even grown into a strong tree.

One day, after a year of working in the seedling nursery, and seeing a number of different seedlings come and go, this man was assigned to oversee a new group of seedlings. Even as this happened, he yearned for some of these seedlings to be able to hear about the magic water and be changed into humans. Imagine his pleasure and surprise when one of the new seedlings from the very beginning showed signs of already having taken some magic water, and becoming a woman! He wasn't sure at first. As strange as the idea of not being able to tell a woman from a tree may seem, in the seedling nursery things can become quite confusing. Often humans tend to blend in with the trees. Moreover, in his job as waterer, he was limited in his ability to determine to what extent seedlings have become humans. After all, if his employer saw that he was doing something other than nurturing and watering baby trees, he might be removed from his job. Many seedlings had the ability to report such lapses to the man's boss, and probably would if they saw their caretaker going beyond his job description.

However, despite the challenge of maintaining his position as a waterer, the man was finally able to corner the "seedling" and conclude that it is quite likely this indeed is a woman. In addition, the woman told him that there is another woman in the same section of the nursery that he tends, and quite likely a third woman. This amazed the man. In all of the caretaking of various sections of the nursery, he had never found one human in any section. Now he has three in the same section! Amazed and pleased, the man went home rejoicing that there are seedlings in his nursery who have already accepted the magic water.

First Week Ramblings

Now that the first four days of school are done, it's time to reflect on it all with a few random thoughts.

Right now I feel like I've died and gone to teacher heaven. I can't believe how well my classes have gone so far. Teaching right now is absolutely wonderful, and is a hundred percent better than the day to day struggles I had with various classes on far too many occasions last year. My current euphoric state may have something to do with the fact that it's the first week, and that serious discipline issues usually don't arise that quickly. But I think it has more to do with my schedule, which is very different and much improved from last year.

Having a study hall instead of cafeteria duty makes a world of difference. There is tons of paperwork that always needs doing at school. Now I have an extra forty-five minutes each day to work on it, rather than being on my feet policing the trash and food throwing. And the students have been mostly quiet in my study. You know what an unusual experience it is for me to see twenty-five freshmen and five sophomores quiet for a whole period? Well, for the most part it's happening in my study hall (and they hear my fake angry/harsh side when it isn't quiet.) It's an amazing, beautiful thing to behold, if only for what it allows me to get done. And one of my antsy students asked for something to do today, so I gave him some paperwork to sort. Even better when students do some of your work for you!

I love my students. This includes both those who don't care a lot about school, and those who do. But there has been something really refreshing about dealing with four classes of relatively motivated juniors on a daily basis. And they have lots of personality. For some reason it seems like they are way more lively than last year. Might have something to do with the fact that I have been way more relaxed when it comes to opening up about myself, have felt free to be crazy, and have been more successful in breaking out of my introverted self to talk to students about their lives. This has led to a freeness on their part to show their personality. I have lots of the bubbly, extrovert type, along with the quiet, reserved, shy ones. The combination is refreshing. I am especially glad for students who will enter into discussions, even if they might need a little reining back on occasion for being too talkative.

I have some uniquely talented groups of students. One class has about half a dozen females who are all seriously into dancing of one sort or another. Another has a female fencer who is Olympically-rated. I learned she is aiming for the 2008 Olympics. The top 16 make the team, and she is currently ranked number 30. So maybe she'll be good enough to go by 2008, and I'll be famous by association. Other students are seriously into music, acting, singing, etc.

My classes seem to be a magnet this year for cheerleaders and football players, as well as other jock types. Last year I had one football player and three cheerleaders. This year I think I have about 6-8 football players, half a dozen cheerleaders, and maybe a dozen others involved in various other sports. In addition I have lots of students involved in band.

So far I sense in general a higher academic ability in my U.S. classes compared to last year. This is also exciting, refreshing, and challenging. Several of my students are in a higher level English class, and probably should be in AP U.S., but are taking my class instead. Fortunately for me, this raises the academic level of the whole class, with tremendously positive effect.

I have triplets in one class! Yup, that's right. Two girls just transferred today from the AP U.S. class to join their sister in the same period. How crazy is that! And I think they're identical. So I have placed them in different parts of the room, which I trust will keep me from mixing them up.

Humorous Item of the Day

In response to the question "What do you want to learn about in U.S. History?" one of my college-bound juniors wrote this: "I would like to learn a lot about battles . . . I want to learn about the different groups of fighters such as: cavalry: infantry: archers and what role they played in the battles."

While an English teacher may shudder at the grammar, my primary concern is what U.S. battle he is thinking employed any significant use of archers. I suppose I could get creative and talk about the arrows that just didn't seem to hit their mark in, say, the battles of the Civil War. (You want to know the real reason the South lost? They didn't have any good places to sharpen their arrow tips, so most of them just clanged off the body armor of the Union troops rather than reaching their mark.) But that would be taking my story-telling to a level with which even I am uncomfortable...

Houston, We Have Launched

First day of school has come and gone. This followed by quite a restless night, in which I don't know if I slept for more than three or four hours, although I was in bed for hours more. Funny how the excitement of the first day can be similar for teachers as well as students.

Home room began with a bang. After giving out seating assignments to the wide eyed and bushy tailed freshman (amzing how quiet they were, but I guess first day of school in a new environment at that age will do that to you), I asked students who hadn't had their names called to come and see me. I looked up from my desk in surprise to see about ten or twelve students gathered around. Hello? What's up with this? Turns out administration had done away with a freshman homeroom, but hadn't adjusted student schedules accordingly, so all of the freshman homeroom assignments were way out of kilter. They were told they were supposed to be there, but my roster didn't have any of their names. But that's just another day in the life of a school prone to such administration issues, so I and all the other teachers went with it.

In each of my classes I introduced myself, and gave a fair amount of biographical information. This included the startling revelation that I'm not gay. I figured I'd get that out there right away, since last year someone started a rumor to the contrary, which had some rather unpleasant results. I also confessed to my rabid attraction to the Sox and Pats, and my worries over the starting pitching. I am teaching four U.S. History classes for college bound students, and one World History class for students less motivated than to set their sights on college. In my U.S. classes I gave them a sheet of student comments generated from an end of the year survey, in which my past U.S. History students put comments/gave advice like "study very hard," "do all your homework," "this class is very hard," and "don't mess with the teacher." In short, it was a scare tactic employed to make sure that students who are too lazy to work will find a slot in a lower level class. But I also told them they needed to take this class if they were going to/thinking about college, and I mixed it up with plenty of enthusiasm and smiles, as well as the confession that I took an insanity test this summer and scored two points away from being declared insane. (Call it throwing them a bone, if you will. Gotta keep the masses entertained, even while scaring them!) I have yet to see how many will actually come back tomorrow... However, I sense that some of them are real gamers when it comes to working and being motivated, which is encouraging. One girl actually asked for clarification of the first assignment. This is a good sign for the first day. Most students tend to do what they think they hear, whether it's right or not, then worry about the consequences later.

One of the girls in a U.S. class was the same one I had convinced in the cafeteria during my lunch duty last year that I had fourteen children. This was a story I told to a lunch table group, comprised mostly of juniors, who also happened to think they were the coolest things in the world and were above obeying rules like no throwing trash at each other, cleaning it up if you throw something on the floor, etc. She didn't seem to fit into this category of "jerkish," although she hung out with them. Anyway, I had her really going after this group asked me my kids' names, and I was then able to repeat them when asked again. I was able to do this by using the simple tactic of rattling off many of the twelve tribes of Israel, and then repeating them, adding some modern names for good measure. While others insisted on expressing incredulity over my family size, she said she believed me. Anyway, she brought this up today, and I was able to assure her that I don't have fourteen kids. I asked her if she had really believed me, and she was like, "Well, you were able to say all those names, like Reuben, and Aphrodite." I assured her that I did not include the name of a Greek goddess among my children's names. Now I just hope that I can really convince her that the Civil War was fought between the North and South, or that Abraham Lincoln was elected president in 1860...

Cultivating Popularity

Last year, near the end of the school term, I was a little amused but probably more bothered when I discovered the true feelings of one of my students toward me. On his desk was scrawled "I hate Mr. [my last name]." I wasn't sure how to deal with this hatred. It was a mini crisis. I pointed it out to another teacher, and asked him how he would handle such a situation. Do I make a big deal of it? Do I just ignore it? Do I confront the person who I think wrote it? He suggested I scrawl underneath it "I hate you too." Well, I opted not to follow this advice, and simply let the incident pass. After all, it was the end of the year, the student would soon be out of my life forever, and hopefully he could deal with me a few more weeks.

When setting up my classroom yesterday, a sudden inspiration came over me to counteract any inclination students this year might have to write similarly loving remarks on my desks. Why not plant some graffiti of my own? It is a violation of school rules for students to graffiti desks, but I figured a little pencil wouldn't hurt. And this could serve as a psychological experiment on the power of positive thinking. So I got my pencil out and went to work on my own desks. I scribbled things such as "Mr. [my last name] is cool," "Mr. [my last name] rocks," "I love Mr. [my last name]," and "Mr. [my last name] is an awesome teacher" on various desks throughout the room.

The comments aren't very visible, as the desks are not of the light variety, so pencil doesn't show up too well. Possibly the students will never notice them. However, if you look close enough, you can see them. Only time will tell what impact they will have. Even if they don't do anything, it gives me a chance to chuckle to myself about my cleverness and genius. I guess I need a life...